:: Diary - June 2007 ::

:: Friday, June 1, 2007 ::

The weather forecast still isn't looking too promising for this weekend, and I have the TVR car club tomorrow and the Borders car show with the Sporting Bears on Sunday. Never mind, working on the assumption that the weather forecast is probably wrong, I decide to polish the wheels. Polish ball in drill, polish on cloth, it doesn't take long.

:: Saturday, June 2, 2007 ::

Last thing I have to do is give the car a wash before I set off for the car club meeting (and the run beforehand.)

7 cars turn up for the run - and although it isn't sunny, at least it's not raining. Alan has brought his new Tuscan - a lovely machine finished in a Ferrari blue. Our run takes over some cracking roads through the Trossachs, one of the most scenic areas in Scotland. We stop beside Loch Venacher for some photos, a wee rest and a push start (no not me, or my car, names have been withheld to protect the innocent Jim)

When we reach the hotel, everybody else is halfway through their lunch. There are 20 cars in total again today, another impressive turn out, including a couple of members who haven't been along for a while and at least one new member.

Another excellent meeting, following which I have a blatt over to my brother's and then another one home, before tucking the car away, still fly-spattered, ready for the Sporting Bears at the car show tomorrow.

:: Sunday, June 3, 2007 ::

I hate to get obsessive about weather forecasts, but they are important when you propose to blatt about in on wet roads in an open-top sports car that hasn't been fully rustproofed yet.

The forecast is for rain followed by intermittent rain between showers. Sod it I'm going anyway.

First I go along to pick up Dave, who isn't taking his car but is helping on the day.

The Bears have assembled a fine selection of cars - a couple of modern Ferrari 430s, a 308, a Dino Replica and a P40 replica of a Ferrari race car, raced by Jackie Stewart at Le Mans. There are a couple of Porsche GT3s, a Boxter, a Honda 2000, a Lotus Esprit and Elise, a couple of AC Cobras, an Aston Martin Vantage, a Porsche Spyder (like the one James Dean was killed in), a Morgan, and a couple of old bubble cars, which are the busiest out of all of us!

Oh you pretty chitty bang bang chitty chitty bang bang we love you... Why can I not get that tune out of my head?

There is also a beautiful 1924 Bentley 3-litre, completely original (which probably upsets the concours fanatics but I think it looks sodding beautiful) which, as far as I am concerned, is the star of our show. I was going to pay for a go but he disappeared after lunch time.

And in chitty chitty bang bang chitty chitty bang bang loves us too... Oh no there it is again!

I take out a couple of people - the first one would have bought my car on the spot, he wants one. The second one IS buying one, he has persuaded Dave to go with him to Newcastle to look at one for sale.

Despite the weather forecast, the promised pishing rain does not materialise. There are a few spits of rain which force the more precious owners of the more delicate machines to put their roofs on. I can't be arsed.

Near, far, in a motor car, what a lovely time we'll spend... Shut up!

I spend most of my time yattering to passing members of the public, telling them about my car and others around it.

It's a grand day out, and really enjoyable. Mummy Polar Bear tells us that we have raised over £2,000 on the day. I've really enjoyed the whole day.

in bang bang chitty chitty bang our fine four-fendered friend... Nope it's still stuck in there!

Except for one thing. One tiny detail that, although apparently minor at first, ends up driving me potty by 5pm. Dr Caractacus Potty, to be precise, who parks the touring Chitty Chitty Bang Bang show alongside the Sporting Bears, and seems to have an enormous bloody battery and an amplifier that would be too powerful for a Rolling Stones concert, belting out that bloody song at volumes that would make a foghorn blush. From 11 am to 5 pm. Six bleeding hours of neverending Chitty Chitty bloody bang bang.

The car itself is very nice, and Dr Potts is a benign old gent who is obviously well used to playing the part - but by the end of the day I want to practice advanced forms of dentistry with a jack handle.

Charitably, though.

:: Saturday, June 9, 2007 ::

Started the day with the best of intentions, to scrape and paint the other outrigger. I do have a number of other things to be getting on with, though, so I decide to bring the car back to the house.

Can't be bothered sracping and painting though so I decide to change the spark plugs instead. Through sheer laziness I manage to find a way to change plug number 1 without taking the alternator off - the alternator bracket means that you can't get the lead off, never mind get the plug out. If I disconnect the battery to take the alternator off, it takes the car ages to reboot the ecu properly so that it runs and idles properly. Sod that, let's find the non-recommended way. I discover that if I loosen the alternator adjuster bolt (leaving the belt on) then loosen the two 13mm bolts at the front and take out the big 17mm bolt at the back, I can turn the whole unit just enough to get the lead off and change the plug. Very carefully though, the plug spanner is perilously close to the live feed to the back of the alternator so if the spanner touches that, then there will by much sparking and tears before bed time.

Then I take some photos of the engine bay, partly to answer recent questions on Pistonheads about ignition coils, ignition amplifiers, alternator belts and water pumps.

:: Sunday, June 10, 2007 ::

Wake up totally knackered this morning. I was out at a wedding (no I'm not pissed!) and got a puncture on the motorway just before I turned into the slip road. This is at 1am. At least it's not raining (I only ever seem to get punctures when it's pissing down).

It takes about 15 minutes to change the tyre (I'd forgotten how bloody useless emergency scissor jacks are, I've got too used to my wee trolley jack). Also I can't find the jack handle in the dark so end up winding it up with the wheelbrace.

The space saver tyre goes on. The original tyre (a 245/45 x 17 fer chrissakes) doesn't fit into the wheel well. Marvellous. It's also stinking of half-melted rubber (I was doing a fair clip so even just stopping from that speed has probably melted the inside of the tyre wall). After repacking the tyre, the wheelbrace and everything back into the boot I pick up the now-redundant boot floor and find the jack handle clipped underneath it. Marvellous.

I'm also pissed off with work at the moment so the weekend hasn't been great.

Never mind, I decide to have a blatt in the TVR - roof down even although it's overcast. I have a list of things to do before S Club heaven in July but seeing as I don't expect it to win any awards anyway I'm not overly bothered. Fixing and cleaning is for another day. Today is for driving.

I was watching a TV programme yesterday about classic car shows and there was a female there with a mini that still had the stickers on the tyre treads - you know, the ones that wear off within about 5 miles. These tokens of originality were preserved because the car is trailered (on different wheels) and then those wheels are placed on the car after it is in position at the show, with the stickers lined up. I thought I was sad but that's just ridiculous - what's the point in having a car that you're afraid to use?

100 miles and about 3 hours later (I was just pottering about in Edinburgh) we are home again. I noticed a not very interesting phenomenon this morning. In the course of my wee drive I saw 3 different Bentleys - not the classic ones but modern ones - the VW Continental or whatever they are. 3, in 3 hours.

I remember when you were lucky if you caught a glimpse of a Bentley on the road once every 10 years or so, and even then you had to be on your holidays to somewhere affluent, like the next village where the pub landlord lived. Now the damn things are everywhere, and as they drive along, no-one notices. I heard a few people at junctions comment on my car (they forget you can hear them if you have no roof) but the Bentleys got not a second glance. £140,000 for a car that nobody looks at? No thanks mate... Tee hee.

I also saw a Ferrari and a Morgan. I waved at the Morgan (he waved back) but not the Ferrari - they never do. Didn't wave at the Bentleys. Too common.

I wouldn't say no to one of the older Bentleys, mind - the mid 1950s ones that look like semi-detached houses with leant-to outside toilets, fitted with wheels. Very nice.

Anyway, after making enquiries in a couple of tyre depots in the course of my wee drive, I can't find the right tyre in the right size - none of the branches have it in stock. I drop into the Lexus dealer and they promise to phone me tomorrow.

Also, I was speaking to Ian last night, another one of the drivers in the "Rally in the Park" in March - the one where I broke my swing arm. He has a Sierra RS Cosworth and ended up having to change swing arm bushes and various other bits after the rally as well - so it's not just TVRs. He reminded me that I'd better get the stickers off before they mark the paint, so I do - using a hairdryer to soften the adhesive (and the sticker incidentally) and peel them off, then a wipe with white spirit to remove any residual glue (and any wax and polish) and the job's a good un.

:: Monday, June 11, 2007 ::

I was watching a TVR programme last night and in one article, it featured Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Fortunately my family managed to restrain my arms before I leapt up and restored the TVR to its original million electronic components, so I was forced to watch the damn thing.

The benign old gent driving it at Thirlestane last weekend was Pierre Picton, who originally drove one of the three cars used in the film, and bought it in 1972, and now goes around shows and private hires.

He seems quite sane. Well, considering...

No news on the Lexus tyre front. The dealer phoned this morning and don't have one in stock. I took it into a local place near my office, where we have an account. The price quoted yesterday by a leading tyre company who, apparently, you can't fit quicker than, when they eventually stop dancing about like sweeps in a Mary Poppins film (I appear to be getting a bit of a fixation about films with Julie Andrews in them - I'd better watch that, Arthur), was £165. Our man here will fit the same tyre to the same wheel for £121 all in. At least Dick Turpin sportingly wore a recognisable mask.

Still, they're the boys to trust, so they say...

:: Saturday, June 16, 2007 ::

Lots to do before the next TVR event, one of the main things being finishing the chassis painting then waterproofing.

So without wasting any time I go and buy oil and an oil filter that I don't need yet.

Then without wasting any more time I go along to my garage and start to strip the paint off the driver side outrigger. Again I spend ages jacking the car far enough into the air, so that I can get my bloated carcass underneath.

This is how it looked before I started - the paint is chipping off badly, with various bare bits and a load of muck trapped on top.

First the wire brush in an angle grinder, to take of most off the paint, and quite a lot of rust too. Make sure that the angle grinder isn't chucking all the grit and sparks into your face! Then I use a wee wood chisel, a putty knife and my hooky thing that I made last month, to chip and scrape all of the paint and rust off.

This is the hooky thing in action. Good eh?

After 3 hours I have all of the paint off. 3 hours for one stupid wee tube.

An hour after that, I have it repainted in Hammerite.

Next step - Waxoyl. Not today though.

:: Sunday, June 24, 2007 ::

Right. Today I am going to do a job I have been putting off since I got the car. A job summarised in one word, a word which causes grown men to cry, and breaks even the firmest resolve. The word for today is "Waxoyl".

I have waxoyled 2 cars before (both on the same day, about 20 years ago) but I have never forgotten how messy a job it is. The sprayers didn't work very well, the extension probe (a plastic tube with a nail in the end) was abysmal and the stuff got everywhere. Everywhere. You know how some dogs, even if you put them in a bin bag and dragged them 20 yards behind your car on a toboggan on the end of 20 feet of rope, would still manage to get hair on the seat? Well that's how determined Waxoyl is to stick to everything within a mile, whenever you take the lid off the tin.

I bought the Waxoyl and sprayer ages ago (maybe 3 years ago?) but have always found something else to do like set my head on fire with petrol then tamp it out with a sledgehammer, but today's the day - after all that scraping and painting I want to keep it in good nick. No more banana trailing arms for me, ta very much.

When you take the lid of the waxoyl it's like looking into a giant ear - thick sticky wax that barely gives to the touch. You have two choices: either thin it with white spirit (which makes it runny on contact when sprayed) or heat the tin in a bucket of "ohyabuggerthat'shot" water for half an hour, shaking not stirring. The advantage of that is that. when you spray the cold chassis, the wax solidifies on contact and is less runny. Clever eh? The disadvantage is that even when warm, it's still pretty thick.

Oh and don't use your best car wash bucket. The slightest drop of waxoyl floats on the surface and makes a ring round the edge, and it don't come off forcos it's waterproof see?

Anyway, while the can is heating I get all the wheels off ready. Then when the stuff is half-melted I try a couple of trial sprays, adjusting the nozzle so that it's almost at its finest setting, then I start with the front suspension. I also spray the two box sections that the bonnet hinges bolt into - they are stuck out there at the front of the car and get covered in all kinds of crud.

Then I replace the front wheels because for some reason I never like having the car with all 4 wheels off the ground at the same time - especially not when I'm underneath it.

Then it's on to the rear, where I spray both swinging arms (including the refurbished one that was sprayed before I got it back). At this point I realise that the sprayer is much better than the Waxoyl sprayer of old, and the spray pattern is much more controllable.

Then a few seconds later I realise that the same level of improvement is not evident in the extension probe for spraying inside box sections, although I have to admit that the water was getting colder and the wax correspondingly thicker. I should have done the extension probe bit earlier - I only want to use it to spray the inside of the two trailing arm tubes. They're easy enough to do in 5 minutes another day though so I don't worry too much about it.

Then I spray the rear chassis, taking care to get into all those suspension mountiing points.

This is the front outrigger...

and this is the rear outrigger and the sill tubes - the main rust spots on the TVR chassis. Hopefully, not any more!

You'll see in the second photo above, just behind the axle stands, the cradle that holds up the petrol tank - I need to prep and paint that too, but that's a job for another day.

Once I have cleaned up all the Waxoyl spray gear, I run a bit of masking tape along each sill of the body, about 2 inches from the edge, and then, holding a wee bit of cardboard between the sill and the sill tube, I paint that 2 inch strip with underseal - just to cover up the various chips and scratches on the bottom of the sills. You can see it in the last photo.

Then I replace the wheelarches on the bonnet, but not the ones on the front of the wings - I want to get new fixing screws because the old ones are rusty. I also need to fix the fixing holes because they are wearing out so that the screws hardly grip any more - I see that two have fallen out completely.

Then replace the rear wheels and leave the car for a week to dry!

AND... believe it or not, apart from my hands, I hardly have any waxoyl on me. My overalls have a few splashes but apart from that, not so messy after all! Also, the last time I did this, there were gallons of Waxoyl dripping onto the floor for days afterwards - but that was because I thinned it with white spirit - the "heat it up and spray it on something cold" approach means much more effective stickyness and less drips - only about 2 in fact.

:: Saturday, June 30, 2007 ::

Not a lot to report today - I have had a hellish week at work getting things organised before I go on holiday, so I am not in the best of moods for TVR-fettling. Besides it's pissing rain.

I go along to the garage and collect the two inner wheel arches, that I didn't replace last weekend. The nearside one is cracked and split in two places, and the mounting holes are so badly damaged that the arch can slide off the screws. It's a mess. You can't buy them any more, and I don't have time, just at the moment, to make new ones, so I'm going to patch the one I have.

First I cut up some fibreglass matting into little squares, then mix up a tiny cup of fibreglass resin and hardener, and stick the matting to the front of the arch, over each hole, and along the two cracks.

After the resin goes "off" I cut up tiny little bits of matting that will help to fill the screw holes, then I mix up a little more resin, and layer some matting into the old screw holes, then I stick another small sheet of matting over the back of the hole, and along the back of each of the cracks.

After that resin goes off, I add another layer of matting over the first, for additional strength.

The results isn't pretty (it's a wee bit lumpy, because a trained fibre-glasser I ain't!) but I intend to paint them with Hammerite anyway, and it should end up looking better than the broken hanging-off mess I had before.

At least I remembered to wear rubber gloves so that I don't end up with my hands covered in the bloody stuff.

No photos yet though because I don't want the camera covered in resin and chopped matting.

I also need to fill in the holes in the car body so that I don't have to keep using bigger and bigger screws. I think I will start by just stippling in some resin and chopped mat, and see if that works. If not I'll have to think about either rawl plugs or rivnuts.

I also want to paint the front brake calipers so that they match - at the moment I have a blue one on one side and a grey one on the other. I open the tin of blue caliper paint, to find that it's turned to jelly. That's that idea stuffed for today then. I go and buy some smooth dark blue Hammerite (I should have honorary shares in Hammerite by this time, I reckon).