:: Diary - September 2006 ::

:: Friday, September 1, 2006 ::

Yo bloods! Dis is da haggishead, offalbrains to da max, know wha'am sayin? Comin atcha wiv da crazy bad ass phat S, pimped right to da groove by Stu at Club Art , he gets wit dat programme, ya dig? He bling ma wheels, slammin down on da deck, hey who needs exhausts anyway fo sho! Add da phat grafix and she bitchin sick!

Is called a mofo moto I be drivin dere wit ma ho on ma side, ya gotta dig dat. Hey listen up bloods, me got da wikkidest S in da hood, an no mofo gonna diss me up nohow. We slidin' down to ole Callander for da show, wid ma bommaz in der rides, we doan give a monkeyshit about no noise ya hear?

Later we slippin in on da loser kroozers down at ole Maccy D's, ya know where I'm at? Man, dem homies goddam spewin' dere bucky when dey eyeballs ma wheels. Sweet!

Puttin out dat peace flava atcha!

:: Saturday, September 2, 2006 ::

Ahem, yes. Sober translation:

"Stewart used Photoshop to show my car with nice wheels and pictures on. It's nice. He took the original photo at Callander. I made up the bit about McDonalds car park."

I have to admit that I do like the look of the oversize wheels and superskinny tyres - I think it makes the car look really smart! The practicalities of having no suspension travel and no wheelarch clearance (and, probably, no exhaust after a few miles) needs further thought...

Anyway, off today to the car club meeting, at a different hotel this time (owned by one of the members). I went in the Saab because (a) I couldn't be bothered going along to the garage and unwrapping the TVR; (b) I forgot to allow myself enough time to do that anyway, and (c) it started to rain as I left the house.

Our previous venue is under new mismanagement - who appear to be following the example of the old mismanagement team and forgetting that they have a wedding to organise, until about 2 days before, and then chucking us out at short notice. This is the second time in 3 or 4 months. After a vote, it looks like we won't be going back.

Stewart turns up with a rather fetching T-shirt, with cartoons of the car. The shirt looks superb until I put it over this Captain Pugwash joke body that I seem to have put on while asleep or pissed, and now I can't find the zip.

These are good quality T-shirts folks, with top-quality art work, and can (obviously) be custom-made with your image. Have a look at Stewart's web site at Club Art to see what's on offer. He also does mugs, cards, and various other stuff.

After the meeting I went to my mammy's, and out to the shops with my wee brother (I use wee in the chonological sense, not the circumferential). He told me about an S on a garage forecourt nearby, that he had spotted. So of course we popped along. It turned out to be a lighter blue than mine (Starmist?) with a reg no that started "G171" which gave me an initial shock. It looked all right but it soon became evident that it has some electrical problem (the fusebox and ecu wiring all over the footwell), an exhaust problem (parts of it being rusty mild steel) and a slight chassis problem into which you can insert four fingers (no, not a secret Kit-Kat hideyhole, a rust hole!)

To be fair, I don't think it was for sale - the garage is not a car dealer but a restorer of a particular (non-TVR) marque - but he seems to fix just about anything. Nevertheless, the car is a walk-away job, methinks.

:: Monday, September 4, 2006 ::

I forgot to mention my new restoration project. It's an oil can. Sad or what? I bought it from a stall at the Callander show, for some reason unbeknown even to me.

A bit of polishing, a lick of paint and she'll be a beaut!

:: Tuesday, September 5, 2006 ::

After a bit of research and phoning around, I finally ordered shiny new stainless steel exhaust manifolds and downpipes. Don't ask about the price... suffice to say that I'm glad they're stainless steel so that the tears don't start the rust process...

Delivery time is 3 or 4 weeks, which will take me past the end of the month, after which I'll probably put the car off the road for a bit while I catch up with a few tricky jobs like this. I didn't want to do them over the summer in case I missed out on any events of good weather days.

Changing the exhaist manifolds sounds simple - each side involves 6 studs, 3 bolts and change over a lambda sensor. Those 6 studs are the problem - there is virtually no chance of getting them all out without one snapping - when that happens it's time to take the engine to bits so you can drill the broken bits out. If I have to do that, I'd prefer it to be in the "off-season"!

I also have to change the steering column bush, one front suspension balljoint, and (maybe) the fuel tank sender, so that I can stop having to use post-it notes every time I fill up. I also need to clean and repaint bits of the chassis.

:: Saturday, September 9, 2006 ::

Today I am going to complete a job that I have meant to do for ages. When you get in the car, the seat belt is awkward to reach, it jams as you're pulling it out, it twists and doesn't retract so it ends up not holding you properly, and then when you get out, it takes ages to feed it back onto the roller.

Well I read about this wee modification that turns the top mounting so that it works better, so today I am going to fix it!

First step was a couple of weeks ago, when I asked a pal who happens to own an engineering business, to make me up a couple of adapters, to a size available from Pies' web site. I got them yesterday.

So today I nipped down to the scrapyard and got a couple of seatbelt bolts and the wee plastic covers for them - he was going to give me them for nothing but I put a pound in his tea box - well you never know when you might need a scrappy for a pal eh?

Remove the top seatbelt bolt and then bolt the adapter in place with one of the scrapyard bolts. Then bolt the top slide for the seatbelt onto the adapter, fit the plastic covers and job done!

They make a huge difference. The seatbelts slide through easily, they are easier to put on, they don't twist, they move with you, and retract when you take them off. I'm a happy pixie!

:: Monday, September 11, 2006 ::

I meant to take the car back along to the garage yesterday but didn't, because my telly exploded while I was polishing my oil can.

So as a result of rolling stock displacement (I learnt that phrase from British Rail) I had to take the wee car to work, a decision that was assisted by the fact that the weather was quite nice!

Unfortunately, after I left to come home, my office phoned to say that there was a puddle of water on the ground where the car had been. The rest of the journey was completed with one eye on the temperature gauge, but no obvious problem.

I check it over when I get back to the garage, and there's no sign of any leak, but there is a loud and prolonged hissing from the swirl tank pressure camp. Maybe it's empty! I'll have to check the level and pressure test it when it's cold.

:: Monday, September 19, 2006 ::

I ordered fandabby new real leather gearlever and handbrake lever gaiters today!

:: Wednesday, September 20, 2006 ::

The exhausts arrive today - they look very nice!

:: Thursday, September 21, 2006 ::

I happen to be home from work early, so have a closer look at the exhaust bits. The manifolds look fine, but I notice that the two downpipes are a different shape and length. Now having spent considerable amounts of time re-attaching these pipes to the car after scraping over speed bumps etc, I know that they should be the same length.

I send an email to the supplier just to safeguard my position in case they don't fit when I get around to it.

:: Friday, September 22, 2006 ::

The exhaust supplier says he'll sort it - he'll either refund my money (so that I can order two from the place I got the last 2 from) or, if I send him mine, he'll make new ones to the same profile.

:: Saturday, September 23, 2006 ::

First job - fit the new gaiters before I start anything else (ie while my paws are still clean). And also because it's the easy bit, and I need to work my way into this - I think I have the flu coming on so don't really feel like doing this.

Remove knobs, loosen centre console, change gaiters and reassemble. Dawdle.

Right - time for a real laugh - I need to look for that cooling system leak. First I refill the system, making sure there are no spills, then check over the whole cooling system with a torch to make sure that everything is dry. I start it up, turn away for a minute while it warms up, and when I come back there's a wee puddle under the sump - dripping off the exhaust downpipe as far as I can see.

I can't see any water running down the engine, or any sign of steam - so I stop the engine for a better look (and to mimise the risk of catching fingers, ears or stuff in various whirring bits while I probe around). I still can't see any sign of water, anywhere, except for a couple of droplets around the pump inlet hose. I tighten up the hose clip, and re-start the car, and let it warm up until the rad fan cuts in (ie to effing hot!) and go round with the torch and check every joint again - not a drop of water visible, and none on the floor (and no steam off the exhaust either).

No hissing from the pressure cap either this time.

Very puzzling...

I remember vaguely that some Ford water pumps have a "tell-tale" vent hole - when the pump seal starts to go, it weeps coolant to show that the pump is on the way out. I can't see a vent hole anyway (but to be honest the engine bay is too cramped to see properly anyway - I need a hand mirror to see round corners).

I draw some consolation from the fact that changing the water pump involves removing the exhaust downpipes, so if it's gotta be done, this is the time to do it!

I also notice that the bonnet strut is getting weak, and hardly holds the bonnet open when the car is level - when you jack the front up, the bonnet gracefully closes...

Then I decide to compare the exhausts parts, just to be sure. First, the manifolds are ok. This photo shows the new one sitting above the old rusty one. Happy with them.

The downpipes aren't right. One of them would fit - it's the same as the left-hand one on the car. The other is a completely different shape and length, and would either foul the chassis, or not reach far enough back.

This shows the existing downpipes, the discoloured steel pipes up the middle of the car. It also shows that the chassis paint needs some serious retouching!

What that photo doesn't show is the state of the existing pipes. This one shows how they have almost been squashed flat by various impacts with the ground, on rough roads and speed bumps. That was when the front of the car was lower than it is now (since I put the new springs and shocks on, last year).

:: Monday, September 25, 2006 ::

First stuff first - let's try and find this water leak. First I examine the area around the water pump, and I see a ring of rusty water on the back edge of the crankshaft pulley. Scratch and sniff - it smells of antifreeze. So the first signs point to the water pump.

I can't feel a vent hole under the pulley but the nose of the pump is also soaking in antifreeze. So the second sign also points to the pump. The car is therefore now unusable till I replace that pump. So I might as well do the exhausts now - the car is off the road anyway!

Take off the fan belt and alternator, the air filter and hoses, then the real fun begins... removing the exhaust downpipes. The clamps come off easy enough but the pipes are still fixed firmly onto the back box - I realise this is because they have been squashed out of round. After a lot (and I mean a LOT) of hammering, battering and then more hammering, I get them off.

Here's the two downpipes off the car. It's obvious how squashed they are. Compare these with the new ones - the engine is breathing through only half the pipe - this can't be good for power output, eh?

This shows the front of the rest of the exhaust system, that the downpipes have to connect to. I can't get the new downpipes on, until I get these two pipes back to their original shape - they are wider but oval, they should be round. I'll have to think of a way of bending them back to round.

I try the new downpipes in position (roughly) and I now think that they will fit. I can now see why I had a wee bit of bother getting one of the original pipes on though...

Then I remove the decat pipes - which doesn't take very long, the bolts have hardly rusted in two years.

Then I take the pulley off the water pump, and find that is has a wee puddle of antifreeze inside. The pump shaft has a huge amount of end float and even more side play. It is, in the parlance of the true engineer, shagged. Initial diagnosis confirmed!

Right what next - I can't change the water pump because I don't have a bucket to drain the coolant into, and it's getting late, so I think I'll call it a night.

Before I clear up, I have a look at the bonnet strut. It has no resistance whatsoever. Shagged.

Then finally I soak all of the exhaust manifold bolts in penetrating fluid, and leave them to soak for a few days - I'll drop back in if I get the chance during the week and give them another dose.

I try one bolt and it does turn slightly - don't want to push it though so leave it for now.

I need to clean some bits of the engine and chassis while the exhausts are off - I can't get to them when the exhaust is fully assembled!

:: Tuesday, September 26, 2006 ::

Right I need to buy a water pump. I find them online ranging in price from £57 to £80-odd. Oooohhhh... sore one.

Then I find one on ebay for twenty quid, brand new in box. That'll do for me!

:: Wednesday, September 27, 2006 ::

Pump arrives today! Excellent service eh?

Back to the 'bay to but some stainless steel bolts to fix the new exhaust together - a bit of a step ahead because I haven't got the old one off yet! Hope I'm not tempting fate...

:: Saturday, September 30, 2006 ::

This is the day I've putting off for about 18 months - I'm going to try to remove the exhaust manifolds.

Each side is held on with 6 bolts - and I've been told that the chances of getting all 12 out without at least one snapping off, are virtually zero. If one snaps off, then the cylinder head has to come off to drill the snapped bolt out: there is no chance of doing it in place on the car, space is just too tight.

So - take your time AC, treat each bolt as if it was made of butter and don't be in too much of a hurry - in this case, more haste could seriously mean a lot less speed, and for a very long time till you get the engine back together again.

Another soaking in penetrating oil and some good whacks with a hammer to loosen things up.

I also decide to use a fairly small spanner so that I don't get carried away by horsing on too much torque.

I start with the nearside manifold because it's falling to bits anyway. Four of the bolts come out, some easier than others. The other two, both on the underneath, just refuse to turn, partly because the nuts are already partly rounded off. I can't get a grippy socket on past the manifold pipes, so I'm stuck.

After much meditation, and trying every combination of spanner / socket / extension / handle that I have, I'm no further forward. Both bolts are still stuck fast.

I don't want to angle grind the pipes off because I'll end up with sparks of metal flying into the engine, so I start to cut through the pipes with a hammer and cold chisel. Which takes bleeding ages, and by the time I'm totally knackered, I've cut through two of the three. I need a bigger hammer (which I must have left at the house) and a sharper chisel. I could also do with a new 13mm socket (one that isn't even slightly worn) to get the best grip I can on these two wee bastards.

By this time, 3 hours have passed. I decide to relax by trying to remove the manifold on the offside.

The bolts (apart from 1) virtually fall out into my hand. 40 minutes later the manifold is off. SO that's 10 of the 12 snap-happy bolts out - so far so good.

Right what can I torture myself with next? The water pump!

Drain the cooling system, which promptly washes a ton of oily shite off the chassis into the bucket so that I can't re-use the same coolant. Magic. The water pump comes off no bother apart from the two bolts that snap off - but I'm not worried about them, they are easy to get to to extract the stumps. As it turns out, I can get mole grips on the broken ends so I don't even have to unpack the drill.

I want to clean all the crap off the engine (mostly unreachable when it's fully assembled) and paint the cylinder heads. I also want to clean up and repaint the bits of chassis that I can normally not see or reach.

So no reassembly today!

This is the old and new nearside manifolds. So far so good!

Later I go out and buy a socket which drives on the nut flats - it's only 1/4 drive though so might not be very strong. I also buy a new chisel.